I’m an engineer. My girlfriend is not. One day last week whilst I was at work the girlfriend was talking to me on the Gchat. I told her a bit of what I was doing. She replied with how she interpreted it. My coworkers were asking me if I was ok because I was laughing so hard. Here’s some of the things we talked about:

me: you could do my job instead
i need to redesign the JF-3-DB standard single taper locator
Girlfriend: all i hear when I read that is is “I need to redesign the jello jiggler single scotch tape dispenser”
me: dude if we sold those….we’d make millions

I laughed so hard, that I just started talking about random shit I was working on.

me: i wonder what else you can hilarify from my daily job
i just ordered some morse taper extra length drill bits
also some C5 Capto 5-series insert cutting units
Girlfriend: mmmm morsels
like chocolate chips
me: haha
they are for use in making a mark 3 loflo centrifugal pump
Girlfriend: like a mach 3 men’s razor?
with a circular breast pump?

At this point I almost choked on my coffee.

me: that big machine i bought that i’m working with alot..
it’s a yamazaki mazak e800 v5 integrex
it’s a 6 axis mill-turn machine
got a 40 horse turning spindle and a 30 horse milling spindle
added a V axis to it
so it does a shaping function on our serrated flange face
Girlfriend: Kawasaki ninjas cool! Kawasaki ninjas rule!
it uses 6430 millipedes
in a V formation
to serrate your phalanges and your face
it’s a very mean machine

I think at this point, I peed myself a little.

me: what do you think of the coromant capto modular tooling system
i think it rocks
we are also thinking of trying to switch to vargus vardex thread milling products…because they’re indexable
Girlfriend: I enjoy corona’s captain. Mondo’s were a pretty good cooling system when we were 8.
Vargus windex thread windowsilling products are windexable indeed

Never have I thought about what I work on in such funny terms. Also, never have I laughed so hard at work. I feel that I was obligated to share the hilarity with the world. Sucks though, if you’re not an engineer, odds are you won’t have any idea what I’m talking about either. In which case you should make up your own funny substitutions. Bet you won’t beat the girlfriend, though. She’s the bestest.